People who grow up believing certain things,
even if they later stop believing them,
may not quite realize how the beliefs sound to outsiders...

(SCENE: A small cottage in Nazareth.)

Joseph: Mary, my dearest fiancée, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about.

(Mary's shoulders slump. Slowly, as if under a heavy burden, she turns around to face Joseph.)

Joseph: You seem to be getting fat around the waistline, and throwing up in the morning, and, er, not getting any periods. Which is odd, because it's sort of like -

Mary: Yes! I'm pregnant! All right? I'm PREGNANT!

Joseph: How is that possible?

(Mary's shoulders slump further.) Mary: How do you think?

Joseph: I don't know, that's why I'm asking you. I mean, you're still a virgin, right?

(Mary looks up cautiously, and sees Joseph's face looking blankly puzzled.)

Joseph: Well?

Mary: God did it.

Joseph: You had sex with -

Mary: No! Haha. Of course not. I mean, God just snapped his fingers and did one of those miracle things and made me pregnant.

Joseph: God made you pregnant.

Mary: (Starts to sweat.) Yes.

Joseph: Mary, that is just so... completely...

(Mary's eyes squeeze shut.)

Joseph: ...COOL!

(Mary opens her eyes again, cautiously.)

Mary: You think so?

Joseph: Of course! Who wouldn't think so? Come on, we've got to tell everyone the news!

Mary: Maybe we should keep this between just the two of us -

Joseph: No, no, silly girl, this is way too important! Come on!

(Joseph grabs Mary's wrist and drags her out of the house. SCENE: The gathering square of Nazareth. A dozen well-dressed men, and the town's head rabbi, look on Joseph and Mary impatiently.)

Rabbi: What's this all about, Joseph? I trust there's a good reason for the fuss?

Joseph: Go ahead, Mary! Tell them what you told me.

Mary: Um... (She swallows.) God made me pregnant.

Rabbi, looking stern, yet understanding: Now, Joseph, you know you're not supposed to do that before -

Joseph: No, no, you don't get it! She's still a virgin! God made her pregnant directly!

(There's a long pause.)

Man #1: So, what you're saying here, basically, is that Mary tells you she's a virgin.

Joseph: Uh huh...

Nigel_Mellish3

Nigel_Mellish3

Nigel_Mellish3

Nigel_Mellish3