When your desires contradict each other, so you can't satisfy all of them anyway.
For example, I want to eat as much chocolate as possible and move at little as possible, but I also want to have a long healthy life. Until the Friendly AI can satisfy all my desires via uploading or nanotechnology, I must sacrifice some of them for the sake of other ones.
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OK, I just ran some numbers based on wild guesses. Assuming 10% of all men are gay, and 80% of gay men look gay, and 15% of straight men look gay, my napkin calculation gives about 37% chance that a man who looks gay is actually gay.
Doesn't look like any gaydar based on perceived behavior would be too reliable.
Of course, if any of my steps was wrong, please let me know.
A gaydar doesn't have to depend on how gay a person looks superficially. There are plenty of other cues.