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Comment author: somnicule 20 January 2015 08:58:41AM 4 points [-]

Didn't get a response in the last thread, so I'm asking again, a bit more generally.

I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD-PI. I'm wondering how to best use that information to my advantage, and am looking for resources that might help manage this. Does anyone have anything to recommend?

In the short-term I'm trying to lower barriers for things like actually eating by preparing snacks in snaplock bags, printing out and laminating checklists to remind me of basic tasks, and finding more ways to get instant feedback on progress in as many areas as I can (for coding, this means test-driven development).

Comment author: atorm 20 January 2015 12:42:44PM 5 points [-]

My experience of ADHD includes a tendency to become distracted by thought while moving between tasks or places. I have found that headphones with an audiobook help lock my attention down to two tracks instead of half a dozen: I'm either thinking about my task, or the words in my ear. Obviously your mileage may vary, but ADHD people develop all sorts of coping methods, so my broad advice is "experiment with lots of things to help get things done, even if other people are skeptical of their effectiveness."

Comment author: TylerJay 12 January 2015 07:06:38PM -1 points [-]

Not sure why you were downvoted. Tried to reverse that for you. I agree actually. I just love the way the world looks through them, especially nature. And most sunglasses put a gray tint on the world instead of making it warmer. Why would anyone want that? That's why I said you'd never go back once you tried it.

Comment author: atorm 12 January 2015 10:23:59PM 0 points [-]

I'm being targeted for mass down-voting. Thanks for caring!

Comment author: listic 12 January 2015 09:05:43AM -3 points [-]

I think the onus is on you to explain where do you think I oversimplify.

Comment author: atorm 12 January 2015 02:28:44PM *  0 points [-]

People tend to see relationships as more than contractual exchanges of favors. In this case it seems like gothgirl defines some of his self-worth from his ability to gain/keep partners, or at least draws some utility from having as many as his primary partner does.

People are complicated and get a lot of different things out of their relationships.

Comment author: listic 11 January 2015 09:41:03PM *  -2 points [-]

polyamorous relationship with a "primary" would be a constant battle of sorts to ensure that I have a greater than or equal to number of dating prospects as my partner

Why would you want to do that? Don't you have anything more useful to do with your life?

I look at this hypothetical situation like this:

Situation: I have only one partner who in turn has multiple partners.

Pros:

  • I get to spend time with my partner while not needing to fulfill all of their needs.

Cons:

  • I don't get enough attention from my partner? But his can be discussed and negotiated. I may or may not pursue other partner(s) if I want to; no pressure on me here. Anyway, I'm better off having some of their attention rather than none or full attention of a grumpy partner and no possibility to pursue other partner(s) (the latter because my partner has other needs that I have trouble fulfilling; that's what I would get in case of monogamy)

I don't see any other problems here. Do you?

Comment author: atorm 12 January 2015 02:46:11AM 3 points [-]

I think you're oversimplifying feelings a bit.

Comment author: TrE 08 January 2015 08:29:24PM 4 points [-]

If you have internalized the concept of what a sharp edge is and if you are using said knive to cut things.

If, on the other hand, you are a child, no or a very dull knife is the best option.

Comment author: atorm 09 January 2015 01:13:46PM -1 points [-]

OK, fair point.

Comment author: Gunnar_Zarncke 07 January 2015 09:21:04PM 0 points [-]

That's pragmatics. Most kitchen work I do requires no really sharp knives Also I have children to take care of. Significantly sharp knives are a risk. But getting a plain old kitchen knife up to speed to cut meat is a real solution here.

Comment author: atorm 08 January 2015 06:03:15PM -1 points [-]

Sharp knives are safer than dull ones.

Comment author: Lumifer 07 January 2015 06:28:38PM 1 point [-]

I thought the point of polygamy is to be able to have sex with multiple partners.

Nope, that's just sleeping around and does not necessarily involve polygamy.

I don't see how it refutes my point of them just wanting to have sex with more than one person

Because your point involves the word "just". If you just want to have sex with many people, no need to do the whole polygamy thing -- just sleep with whoever you want and can get.

Comment author: atorm 07 January 2015 07:49:22PM 1 point [-]

"Polygamy" involves marriage.

Comment author: jimmy 07 January 2015 07:18:07PM *  2 points [-]

I think it's pretty hard to know whether poly gets credit or blame in any given situation.

For example, I know of one relationship that opened up largely because it wasn't a good relationship and then later ended. In my best guess (not very confident), the open relationship hastened the end while also making it somewhat easier to do.

At first glance, that can look like "poly ruined their relationship!" or at least "poly might mean your relationship isn't good and so don't do it or it'll fall apart!", but in this case the transition from husband/wife to friend/friend was unambiguously a good one - and to the extent the open relationship brought it to an end more quickly, it gets credit, not blame, for helping them accelerate into the crash. (Yes, this is their stance too. They were considering having a celebratory "divorce party" before just merging it into another party they had at their house)

Comment author: atorm 07 January 2015 07:45:32PM 0 points [-]

Are one or both of them still practicing polyamorists with other partners?

Comment author: CBHacking 07 January 2015 01:15:24PM 0 points [-]

Thanks for the suggestion. I was looking for a "nicer than jeans" option that didn't require going full-on dress pants, but I can see how dark-wash jeans may be a good option there too, and less "businessy".

Comment author: atorm 07 January 2015 01:20:57PM *  2 points [-]

I get the impression that the quality/dressiness hierarchy goes jeans < cheap slacks < nice (dark wash) jeans < nice slacks. That is, you are better dressed in nice jeans than crummy slacks, even if crummy slacks are acceptable at work and nice jeans are not. And nice jeans are "cooler" than slacks. But this may all be colored by my opinion.

Comment author: DanielLC 07 January 2015 05:19:50AM 4 points [-]
Comment author: atorm 07 January 2015 01:07:50PM 0 points [-]

I wonder if that would work. Also, where is the compelling internal dialogue about the value of being bisexual?

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