Comment author: AABoyles 19 September 2014 01:57:56PM 4 points [-]

I am also trying to start implementing a self-model of the type Brienne describes.

But I also have mental models of people with whom I interact everyday (instead of myself). Unfortunately, I don't construct them consciously--they appear whenever I have issues with the real person in question. I'll argue with them before confronting the actual person (if a confrontation is called for). When I do enter a real discussion with the real person, I'm almost always struck by how wrong my models were--to the point of being actively damaging to my psychological well-being.

Comment author: bishiesparkleflash 02 January 2015 07:21:15PM 1 point [-]

I do that exact thing (inaccurate mental models of people) too! Have you found any useful ways to counteract that?

I haven't found any other way than forcing myself to consciously look at unconscious models of people i make from time to time if it is possible and updating the models accoringly but this methos has not been very effective.

Comment author: Jonathan_Graehl 09 February 2012 08:20:21PM *  11 points [-]

Shame spirals, the opposite of success spirals. Beat yourself up about putting off studying and you're more likely to put it off even more.

Comment author: bishiesparkleflash 24 May 2014 11:48:21AM 2 points [-]

This is exactly the problem I have when studying anything I am not already good at. Instead of not letting minor failures (e.g. misplacing a number while calculating the determinant of a matrix and thus spoiling the whole thing by that minor mistake) demotivate me and having a healthy mindset like "Okay, I misplaced a number, but I'll do better next time and it was not a principal error." I immideatly get into the shame spiral and start thinking things like "I misplaced a number, I am worthless and stupid and everyone is so much smarter than me, I am a failure, etc.". It gets ever worse if I make mistaked repeatedly.

This spiraling applies to anything, from subjects I desperately want to be good at to reading LW and not understanding things immideatly and spiraling into "I am stupid and everyone on here is so smart therefore I am a failure and less worthy of anything". (I'm fairly new here and probably younger than the average user, so I still have a lot to learn).

If anyone has tips on escaping shame spirals, I'd greatly appreciate it!