Found out my sister got an interview for a highly paid and prestigious job, and was reminded how low paid and not prestigious my job was. Since status is relative, my sister's success threatened my feeling of self-worth. I was tempted to rationalize my sister's success away, and think of some sort of excuse as to why I have achieved less than her. But then I thought of a better strategy.

Instead of seeing my sister as a status competitor, I could affiliate with her. I can truthfully say that I come from a family of high-achievers, even if I'm not a high achiever myself. When I affiliate with her, her success becomes my success and I feel more confident. And it prevents the animosity that would have developed if I'd seen my sister as a status competitor.

I guess you are male, and are thinking of a female spouse, right? I'm thinking that the social reason might be that people expect the man to be the higher earner; and the psychological reason that you'd be more comfortable being the dominant partner.

I'm female, and I have a great husband; and I voted to be the less-earning partner, not only because I don't like to work my @$$ off either, but because I like my husband to be slightly dominant (his Captain Picard to my "number one"), or at least not to be dependent on me. Few things make a man more unattractive than being needy, either financially or emotionally.