chanamessinger

[co-written by Chana Messinger and Andrew Critch, Andrew is the originator of the idea] You (or your organization or your mission or your family or etc.) pass the “onion test” for honesty if each layer hides but does not mislead about the information hidden within. When people get to know you better, or rise higher in your organization, they may find out new things, but should not be shocked by the types of information that were hidden. If they are, you messed up in creating the outer layers to describe appropriately the kind-of-thing that might be inside. Examples Positive Example: Outer layer says "I usually treat my health information as private." Next layer in says: "Here are the specific health problems I have: Gout, diabetes." Negative example: Outer layer says: "I usually treat my health info as private." Next layer in: "I operate a cocaine dealership. Sorry I didn't warn you that I was also private about my illegal activities." Negative example: Outer layer says: "Is it ok if I take notes on our conversation?" Next layer in: "Here’s the group chat where I mocked each point you made to 12 people, some of whom know you” Positive Example: Outer layer says "Is it ok if I take notes on our conversation? Also, I’d like to share my unfiltered thoughts about it with some colleagues later." Next layer in says: "Jake thinks the new emphasis on wood-built buildings won’t last. Seems overconfident." Passing the test is a function both of what you conveyed (explicitly and implicitly) and the expectations of others. If it’s normal to start mocking group chats, then it doesn’t need to be said to avoid shock and surprise. The illusion of transparency comes to bite here. Andrew: Social friction minimization is the default trend that shapes the outer layers of a person or institution, by eroding away the bits of information that might cause offence,