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Comment author: helldalgo 21 December 2016 04:35:36AM 1 point [-]

I've been doing this with an interpersonal issue. I guess that's getting resolved this week.

Comment author: helldalgo 01 December 2016 05:12:48PM 19 points [-]

I have about six of these floating around in my drafts. This makes me think that maybe I should post them; I didn't think they were that interesting to anyone but me.

Recently, I spent about ten hours reading into a somewhat complicated question. It was nice to get a feel for the topic, first, before I started badgering the experts and near-experts I knew for their opinions. I was surprised at how close I got to their answers.

Comment author: helldalgo 28 September 2016 06:01:45PM 3 points [-]

A surprising movie that met many of these guidelines: Oculus. It's a horror movie, though, not a happy movie. The characters are smart and empathetic and it has Katie Sackhoff in it.

Comment author: helldalgo 14 September 2016 04:51:28PM 0 points [-]

I have an Anki deck called Sequences - Useful Bits, where I threw some interesting things. Aside from that, re-reading is a good idea, as is talking with people who are familiar with the content.

Comment author: helldalgo 12 September 2016 06:09:38PM 11 points [-]

I occasionally just forget that I can change things about my environment. If my clothes are uncomfortable, I can change. If there are annoying sounds, I can wear earplugs.

Comment author: niceguyanon 10 August 2016 03:39:27PM *  7 points [-]

I thought that to most LW'ers the weak version of "Calories in, Calories out" was uncontroversial. One can accept that Calories in (the mouth) is not the whole story, and at the same time feel it's pretty much most of the story.

Comment author: helldalgo 10 August 2016 05:46:23PM 1 point [-]

Seconded; it seems that for most people, much of the time, CICO is a fine approach to weight loss and will work if you even approximate your deficit and BMR. There is definitely weird stuff, but it's not the MOST likely issue.

Comment author: Elo 04 August 2016 02:44:14AM -2 points [-]

Disdain for the existing literature is common on LW.

I want to point out that 5 love languages is not literature so much as pop psyc (in that it has no peer review). Humans are filled with noise and complicated cases. There is no reason why 6 love languages would not explain communication better than 4 would than 5 would.

Other than the fact that many humans agree with the book (leading it to be popular).

Science goes: generate theory test theory publish results

pop goes: generate theory publish theory let the public be the judge.

I am suggesting people do the more science-based iteration route than the pop-route.

In response to comment by Elo on The meta-strategy
Comment author: helldalgo 04 August 2016 05:32:33AM 0 points [-]

Fair enough. I still think the risk of someone coming up with "The 1 Love Language" is high enough that outside sources are worth pursuing. Obviously "The Six Love Languages" would have sufficed in a similar way.

In response to The meta-strategy
Comment author: helldalgo 03 August 2016 03:41:50PM *  1 point [-]

I have a few thoughts on various aspects of this piece.

On tone: seeming immediately disdainful of your object-level example is going to garner hostility right off the bat. I found myself going "Oh, come on, dude, they're helpful for a lot of people!" and I know you. We're friends, and I like you, and can generally assume that you're making arguments in good faith. I still had the hostile reaction to tone, even with all of that context.

On subject matter: I think there's a bit of typical mind here. While anyone who's talked to me about the subject knows my feelings on LW's tendency to over-embrace models, I still think they're useful. At the level of your specific example, I think that this advice kind of talks past people in the midst of many relationship problems. A model that immediately gets an important point across is invaluable. In this case, the point is that "The things you're doing might not be making your partner feel loved, and vice versa." Many people haven't ever realized that there are different ways to express love. Some people have disdain for certain types of expression, not realizing that such emotional needs are in the territory, not the map. This is a quick and dirty way to get that point across.

On suggesting that people generate models from scratch: I think this is a bad idea for many people until they're very, very good at checking themselves for typical mind biases. Most people aren't; I'm not. Modification of existing models at least exposes the designer to alien perspectives. If I'd sat down and tried to develop a model of relationships when I was sixteen, I would have left out the need for small gifts entirely. They don't mean much to me, and I would have remained disdainful of the idea. It would have been sad if I hadn't been able to recognize a partner's expressed need for small physical tokens, especially if the relationship was otherwise viable.

I've stuck to the love languages example here, but assume that I mean this sort of thing generally. I do have something to address on relationships themselves. When problems are obviously rooted in communication issues, trying to solve the problem on your own is only going to produce solutions that depend on your communication style! Most people aren't great at switching the entire emotional context from which their communications are generated. You aren't, I'm not, and I can only think of one or two people who have seemed to exhibit this skill.

An even more general note: Disdain for the existing literature is common on LW. It's understandable. This site exists in large part because of a scholarly gap. But I worry that we're too immediately contrarian, ignoring things that have worked while being imperfect.

Comment author: Bound_up 09 July 2016 08:42:43PM 0 points [-]

I used to live in Boise; I've got family there.

You know the Williams?

Comment author: helldalgo 12 July 2016 01:45:19PM 0 points [-]

There are many Williams! I don't know any personally. Most of my Idaho family is around Twin, Gooding, and SE Idaho.

Meetup : Boise, ID Meetup

2 helldalgo 05 July 2016 08:41PM

Discussion article for the meetup : Boise, ID Meetup

WHEN: 24 July 2016 02:30:00PM (-0600)

WHERE: Blue Cow Frozen Yogurt 2333 S Apple St, Boise, ID 83706

Idaho exists! This is the first Boise meetup I can find evidence of.

Topic: Introductions, getting to know each other. What brought you here?

Discussion article for the meetup : Boise, ID Meetup

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