Yvain's excellent response.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yvain and hover your mouse over the IPA pronunciation key.

Here's something that my friend suggested, and which I've been finding useful:

One thing that helped me, when I was learning to keep the place clean, was the following suggestion: learn to take stuff to its place whenever you are moving around the apartment. For example, if you get off the couch to go to the toilet and kitchen is on the way, pick up a few dishes and drop then in the kitchen sink/washing machine.

Or if the bookshelf is on your path, pick up a book you are not actively reading and put it on the shelf.

It takes a few weeks to learn this, but once it starts flowing, it really reduces the amount of work you need to do to keep the place tidy.

How do you pronounce "Yvain"?

Does anyone have a working definition of "forgiveness"?

What the (emotional) decision to refrain from further vengeance (often) feels like from the inside.

Given that definition, do you find it to be a useful thing to do?

Sometimes. Certainly not all the time. Tit-for-tat with a small amount of forgiveness often performs well. Note that tit-for-tat (the part where the other defects and then cooperates you then proceed to cooperate) also sometimes counts as 'forgiviness' in common usage. Like many cases where game theory and instinctive emotional adaptions intended to handle some common games (like what feels like 'blackmail') the edges between the concepts are blurry.

Does anyone have a working definition of "forgiveness"? Given that definition, do you find it to be a useful thing to do?

Improving my social skills is going to be my number one priority for a while. I don't see this subject discussed too much on LW, which is strange because it's one of the biggest correlates with happiness and I think we could benefit a lot from a rational discussion in this area. So I was wondering if anyone has any ideas, musings, relevant links, recommendations, etc. that could be useful for this. Stuff that breaks from the traditional narrative of "just be nicer and more confident" is particularly appreciated. (Unless maybe that is all it takes.)

Optional background regarding my personal situation: I am a 19 yo male (as of tomorrow) who is going to enter college in the fall. I'm not atrociously socially inadept, e.g. I can carry on conversations, can be very bold and confident in short bursts sometimes, I have some friends, I've had girlfriends in the past. However, I also find it very hard to make close friends that I can hang out with one on one, I sometimes find myself feeling like I'm taking a very submissive role socially, and I feel nervous or "in my head" a lot in social interactions, among other things. Not to be melodramatic, but I find myself wishing a decent amount that I had more friends and was more popular.

Buying fashionable clothes that fit well is very important. There are tips and guides online about how to do it. Actual name brands can make some difference, but aren't hugely important as long as the clothes are nice.

For weight-loss I can't recommend weight-lifting enough. Not only will you lose weight, and do so quicker and less painfully than with cardio, you'll also get a bump in testosterone production for several months. This boosts confidence by a large degree. Seriously, you'll feel great.

I don't know if you know how to talk to girls, but that's probably the most important thing of all. Flirting is a skill. Unfortunately I don't know where one can go to learn this. Anyone else have resources?

Sprinkle an emetic (a vomit-inducing drug) into foods that you want to stop eating, such as chocolate. It is well-known that nausea causes a long-lasting aversion to the food preceding it. (For instance, this is a problem for chemotherapy patients - the drug therapy causes nausea, which they then associate with food.)

I haven't tried any of this, but I'd be very surprised if this wasn't an easy, long-term solution to the problem of people wanting to eat food that they don't want to want to eat.

Maybe this could even be extended to non-food addictions, such as video games or mindless internet browsing. One person I know quit smoking cold turkey this way (by throwing up after smoking a cigarette, not with an emetic).

Work at a desk facing your boss. It does wonders keeping you productive. My boss happens to make this possible by bringing his work into the lab for several hours a day.