(Why anonymous? Because I have a relationship and I prefer not to write about it in "public".)

1: What traits are most important to you in a prospective partner?

Intelligence. (Ideally, someone slightly smarter than I am.)

Sense of humor--by which I mean someone who holds nothing too sacred to joke about, and who also appreciates terrible puns. And It's not enough to simply appreciate humor; they have to be able to crack a good joke themselves.

Kindness--I dated someone who was sweet to me but otherwise generally abrasive and obnoxious once. Never again.

Rationality--no, I don't care if they've read the Sequences. I do care if they're willing to engage in argument fairly, change their mind when appropriate, evaluate evidence rationally.

Emotional stability--I can't deal with the stress of dating someone emotionally fragile or overdramatic.

Sexual compatibility.

As for physical traits, most people are physically attractive to me once I've gotten to know them and found their mind attractive first. I have some preferences but I can't think of one that is a dealbreaker. But they do have to be physically attracted to me also.

2: What kind of role would you want your partner(s) to play in your life?

Companion and lover. Someone I can escape from the rest of the world with, can trust to care about me and want to help me, can enjoy life experiences with. Also someone I respect and admire, whose life I want to share in.

3: How much time would you spend together, ideally?

Ideally, we would live together, but be able to tolerate extended separation without getting upset. I like to be alone frequently, and to spend time with friends (even the friends my partner doesn't care for); I also travel for events and various opportunities. But it's very nice to have someone to come home to, to share most days with.

4: How important is it to you that you share similar tastes?

We should have at least some similar tastes, or it's not enjoyable to share things we like. In particular, someone I date has to be at least tolerant of my musical choices, because I want to have music playing frequently. At the very least, they should not be dismissive or disdainful of the things I like.

5: How important is it that you be ideologically similar?

Reasonably so. I don't hold extreme views on many things--particularly ones that are very complex. The ones that I do hold extreme views on are very important to me. I have to be able to respect my partner; I can't respect someone who holds many strong views that I believe to be unethical.

6: What, if anything, are your dealbreakers?

Being seriously religious. Physical or emotional abuse. Excessive jealousy. Lack of respect for me. Anti-intellectualism.

(Also, I've never dated anyone who could not write both music and code, but I don't think this is necessarily essential.)

I realised early on I wanted children, and now I have one. (Watching this small intelligence develop is utterly riveting.) I'd like another, my girlfriend already has two others and really doesn't want a fourth!

This is not something that came from a rational decision. The desire came first, so the job of instrumental rationality as far as I was concerned was to make this work.

For those who have some desire for children but can't rationally make that work: may I strongly suggest sperm or egg donation. In the UK, they're terribly short of donor gametes (a shortage of over 200 donors a year), and having smart, rational people donate would probably be a net win for the gene pool at little personal cost (more faff in the case of eggs). If your sperm or eggs cope with freezing, you will reproduce.

If you're worried about your offspring being cast to the four winds, I wouldn't be too concerned - I was adopted, and it worked out I think because I was quite definitely wanted, not an accident. The children of your sperm or eggs will be very much wanted. It gives women the hitherto-unavailable option of passing on their genes with someone else doing the work of pregnancy.

And if the singularity takes more than twenty years, you'll have added a human of higher intelligence to the population.