Comment author: SquirrelInHell 11 August 2016 04:23:58AM *  1 point [-]

Yes; this approach is helpful and I do this too.

I would however add that a slight "nudge" is often not enough when it matters. You will reach to the back of the shelf, and eat the cookie.

In the end, there is not much that works except for not having any cookies in your house.

But what if you really care to do this right?

Then, I say, buy 1000 cookies. Then shout in a loud voice, "I WILL NEVER EAT A COOKIE AGAIN." Then dump the 1000 cookies in the garbage can. And do a happy dance, and repeat 50 times "I WILL NEVER EAT A COOKIE AGAIN".

Silly? Yes.

Works? Yes.

Comment author: minta98 13 August 2016 09:55:22AM 0 points [-]

Hahahha I love your last approach.

I must say, what works best for me is simply removing said cookie. I never eat junk food. Why? Because I don't have any. I never watch television. Why? Because I don't have one. (Might seem extreme but I can't have one anyway because I live in a shared flat and we have no place to put one, I just watch tv shows on my laptop)

Another strategy is the reward system. Did you spend less than 30 minutes watching tv today? Here you go, buy yourself a cookie. Sometimes this work, sometimes it doesn't. The best is to just keep trying different approaches and you will eventually find the one that works.

In response to Applicable advice
Comment author: ChristianKl 12 August 2016 09:02:25AM 2 points [-]

Example: "you need to speak your mind more often". Is advice. If I decide that this advice is targeted at introverted people who like to be confident before they share what they have to say, but who often say nothing at all because of this lack of confidence. I then assume that if I am not an introverted person then this advice is not applicable to me and should be ignored.

I don't think the problem with "you need to speak your mind more often" is at it's core about targeting the advice and deciding whether it's the right advice for you.

The problem is rather that it doesn't tell you how to make the decision when to speak your mind. It also doesn't tell you what you could to speak your mind more often. From it's structure it's also not clear what's meant with "need". Does the advice giver mean that I should speak my mind more often? If so that comes with the general problems of "shoulding people".

In some sense you could say that "Radical Honesty" is about providing a solution to problem that the person who get's told "you need to speak your mind more often" has.

I spent a lot of time reading personal development material on the internet and I had read articles about "Radical Honesty". When I was reading about it I thought it was basically about insulting people. I didn't get what it was about.

Later I took a "Radical Honesty" workshop. I went because the title was "Radical Honesty and Conscious Intimicy" and the "Conscious Intimicy" part lured me. When I was there I got "Radical Honesty" and what it's about. "Radical Honesty" tells me about the trigger I can use to decide that it's a good moment to speak my mind. It has exercises that make it more likely that I'm actually speaking my mind that also have a strong physical effect. Lastly I'm not told that I need or should speak my mind in that enviroment.

Seeking advice like "you need to speak your mind more often" is like eating fast food. It's easy to digest and understand the advice but it's shallow and superficial.

Comment author: minta98 12 August 2016 09:15:30AM 0 points [-]

The more general a piece of advice is, the more amount of people can associate with it in more situations. Once you get into more details, it is easier to apply to a specific situation of a certain person. That is why these short sentences of advice can only be really used as motivation or inspiration to search for more reliable and good help, to apply them would do more harm than good in my opinion.

Comment author: minta98 11 August 2016 11:24:24AM 1 point [-]

What you're saying is pretty interesting, because I think we all classified people in different categories when we were children, and as we evolved those categories evolved too. To answer your questions:

My classifications seem to be way too complex to explain, not even I understand them, but to put it simply, I think I classify between people who I get on well with and people who I don't get on well with. After that, it becomes a dichotomous classification and it just branches out. It's after that first classification that I see whether they have their shit together or not and what kind of person they are. What I dislike about my first classification, is that when I'm not sure if I get on with this person or not, I get confused and frustrated and I don't really know what to think of them.

Yes, definitely. They change categories and that becomes pretty confusing too. If they do, I normally tell myself that actually they were always in that category and I just wasn't able to grasp that. It's kind of rare that they change, but I had a friend with whom I had a fight and after that we never talked again. I guess it's simply because I had not realised 'who they really were'.

That is a good question, and one I could not answer. I think you will never stop understanding the models, because as you said, they are always changing. To be honest, I would say what is next is to start acting upon them. Once you understand a model, try applying it to real life. For example, imagine you classify a certain person as 'advanced'. Try applying what they do to your life, and experiment around to see if you perceive yourself as getting closer to this 'advanced' section.

It's just a suggestion, but I think it's a very interesting topic!

Comment author: minta98 09 August 2016 10:42:59PM 0 points [-]
  1. Having a constant clean workspace helps me. I always use a lot papers and files, so I've learnt that cleaning up a bit every hour or so really helps.

  2. I think the best place would be in a quiet small coffee shop with not too many people where you have a nice big table to yourself in a corner and with the lovely smell of coffee and buns... so beautiful haha

  3. At the moment my workspace is the library, because my desk at home is tiny and makes it hard to concentrate. But cleaning up the current workspace will definitely make it easier to get to work tomorrow for me.