Hello, Alexandra.

I also struggle with the math thing. My secret to success is practicing until I'm miserable, but these things also help:

1. Read layman books about mathematical history, theory, and research. It ignites enthusiasm. I recommend James Glieck's [sp?] book Chaos, and his book The Information. He has a talent for weaving compelling narratives around the science.

2. Learn a little bit of programming. While coding is frustrating in its own right, I find that it forces me to think mathematically. I can't leave steps out. I'm learning Python right now, and it's a good introductory language (I'm told).

3. Explain it to your cat. I'm only mostly kidding. I've found that tutoring lower-level math has helped my skills in calculus and statistics. Learning to walk through the problems in a coherent way, so that a moody sixth-grader can understand it, is tremendously helpful.

I'd love to work together on exploring mathematical concepts. If you'd like to collaborate, hit me up sometime.

Also: if you like HPMOR, you should read Luminosity. It is a rationality-driven version of Twilight that's actually really good.

Hi, I'm Alexandra. I'm turning 18 tomorrow, and I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that I have GOT to be more rigorous in my self-improvement if I'm going to manage to reach my ambitions.

I'm not quite a new member- I've lurked a lot, and even made a post a while back that got a decent number of comments and karma.

I discovered Less Wrong through HPMOR. It was the first time I'd read a story with genuinely intelligent characters, and the things in it resonated a lot with me. This was a couple of years ago. I've spent a lot of time here and on the various other sites the rationalist community likes.

I'm mostly posting this now because I'd like to get more involved. I recently read an article that said the best way to increase competency at a subject is to join a community revolving around the subject. I live in OKC, where I've never even HEARD of another student of rationality. The closest I've gotten is introducing my boyfriend to HPMOR.

I'm a biology student at a community college near my living space. I'm very good at biology, english, philosophy, etc. I'm really, REALLY bad at chemistry/physics and math. I've done some basic research into what makes a person suck at mathematical things, but it's been frustratingly low on insights. Most of the time, it's resulted in "you need to practice! you need to learn mathematical thinking!" which is objectively true, but practically, a little more detail in what to do about it would be nice. Practice hasn't really seemed to help too much beyond working problems. Give me an equation and variables and I can do the math. But I can't EXPLAIN anything, or apply it to non-obvious problems involving it. This is seriously getting in the way of both my biology studies and my study of rationality. I took general chemistry 1 twice to get a low B. I'm in the first two weeks of general chemistry 2 and it takes ages to get what seems like basic concepts. When I discovered I magically had a B in College Algebra, I suspected the professor curved the grade without telling us. I withdrew from precalc after three weeks because I realized I couldn't cope.

I'm hoping to get into contact with some of the more mathematically inclined people here who are willing to help. I considered emailing a few of the higher-profile contributors to the community, but frankly, they're intimidating and the idea is very scary to my inner caveman worrying about being kicked out of the tribe.

I have some pretty lofty goals for my future research- I want to go into genetically modified organisms, and try to improve nutrition and caloric intake in parts of the world where that sort of thing is difficult to get. Reducing scarcity in our society seems like a good start to a general boost in the "goodness" of the world. But there is absolutely no way I can succeed at this if I can't get a good handle on math and chemistry. My skill at the lower levels of biology is only going to carry me so far.

I've probably rambled enough, so thanks if you took the time to read. If, for some strange reason, you feel a pull towards helping a struggling student get a grasp on abstract thinking, I urge you to give into the temptation because oh god I need the help.

Very important. I think a lot of us need to pool together one day and write and release a general F.A.Q. that people can recursively apply to help themselves. It's risky but worth it.

Two Disclaimers: First, I am not a doctor. Second, beware of other-optimizing. This advice is working well for me, but it may not work well for others.

The depression became obvious and major enough that I was forced to take action to stop it. The rationalizations had run dry, so I fully realized in both System 1 and System 2 that I was not "unmotivated", I was mentally ill. Years of life hacks and half-assed lifestyle interventions had accomplished some, but not enough, so it was time for medications, which I had previously feared due to bad experiences with bupropion years earlier.

The constraints in my investigation: something effective for major depressive disorder in both the short-term to fight what I was then feeling and in the long-term to prevent relapse, non-serious side effects, anxiolytic properties, as there is comorbid OCD and social anxiety disorder (SA, also this is why I chose medications before psychotherapy), and a reasonable price. Tianeptine met these constraints, with the nice bonus of plausibly being a cognitive enhancer.

Within six weeks of use, the tianeptine decreased the depression such that it was time to focus on the next most serious drag on my productivity and happiness: OCD. Not being majorly depressed allowed me to develop exercise and meditation habits that reduced the OCD down to a similarly manageable level. The anxiolytic effects of the tianeptine and the reduced stress of not being seriously depressed probably also helped.

The depression and OCD were still there and still a nuisance, but they had become minor enough that it was time to continue prioritizing elsewhere. By then tianeptine's anxiolytic properties had faded to mildness due to tolerance, though it has continued to be effective as an antidepressant that at least does not increase anxiety, which was my primary issue with bupropion.

Next on the list was either SA or an uncontrollable sleep cycle, both being about equally problematic. I chose to address the sleep cycle first because modafinil immediately came to mind as a plausible treatment, plus we've all heard of its reputation as an anti-akratic. In hindsight, I should have thought about this more thoroughly before leaping into it. Availability bias at work. Anxiety is an uncommon side effect, but I decided to take the risk. In hindsight, I ought to have realized that for people already dealing with multiple anxiety disorders, that anxiety side effect probably becomes a lot more more common. A statistics fail on my part.

So, I tried modafinil to control my sleep cycle and reduce akrasia, and instead I produced the unshakable certainty that unnamed, unseen monsters were out to get me. Whoops. Looks like my suspicion was correct that I have subclinical generalized anxiety disorder, because the modafinil had exacerbated it to unacceptable levels. The stress of experiencing this also triggered a depression relapse, so I then took myself off the modafinil. Soon enough I recovered to where I had been before trying it.

This leads me to the present. Now I am faced again with the choice of confronting either the sleep cycle problem, SA, or both. My System 1 is wary of fighting the sleep cycle again just yet after being burned last time, so SA it is. I have already taken the edge off, because of social skills training I started months ago and because of the interventions I've taken against OCD, but it is still serious enough to pursue a pharmacological solution.

First on my To Be Scrutinized list is kratom, as I have already been taking theanine for years now. I will investigate effectiveness, safety, cost, and personal fit. Whatever I try, I will also attempt exposure therapy alongside the anxiolytic effects of a medication. If I am successful, I will next have another go at fixing the sleep cycle, then I will either consider my options regarding the notoriously untreatable fact that I am on the autistic spectrum, or else move on to address the much decreased but still niggling depression and OCD.

Reminder that CBT workbooks for specific problems have been shown to be almost as effective as in person therapies and that you can just buy them on Amazon.

Depression: http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Depression-Step-/dp/1608823806/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1425883773&sr=8-4&keywords=CBT+workbook

Anxiety: http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step-/dp/1626250154/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1425883773&sr=8-5&keywords=CBT+workbook

referral link is for Slate Star Codex if you're wondering.

I guess that disclaimer was a bit of a cached reaction, since the main forum where I talk about mental illness issues is Tumblr, and I need to explain that I know I'm not omnecient on Tumblr, and can't prescribe treatments better than the people it would effect, just suggest ideas.

I did catch the extra disclaimer that you are not to use cognitave therapy on other people without their consent or knowledge, because in lw I expect you already know that and I won't get status from pointing out that people have, like, agency and stuff. You can't just do things to people. Wow. So much friendship for hitting such a low bar of decency. All the applause lights. Ramble ramble ramble.

I meditate regularly- not quite daily, because when I get into a meditative state, I tend to not want to come out. When I do meditate, I'm still and quiet for at LEAST an hour. If I try to meditate for, say, 30 minutes, I end up setting another timer because I didn't get deep enough into quiet state. Meditation doesn't bring up suppressed emotions for me, though.

To me that description suggest that are not meditating in an effective way. An hour meditating alone is likely too much. You likely aren't present but are disassociating.

Doing 20 minute sessions where you focus on feeling your breath in your hara while sitting still in a stable position would likely bring up emotions from time to time.

Otherwise meditating with a good teacher beats doing it alone. But of course I don't know the quality of teachers where you live.

I'm afraid you're missing the point.

If mental illness comes from (say) bad patterns of thinking, then pharmaceuticals won't work as a treatment, except as a temporary and generalised mood-alterer. According to this narrative, giving a depressed person SSRIs is like giving painkillers to a patient with a broken leg; worthwhile as a temporary measure, but unimportant compared to the crucial task of setting the bone, which only trained therapy can do. Advocates of this point of view typically cite the unimpressive performance of certain kinds of pharmaceutical therapies when compared to placebo.

If mental illness comes from (say) faulty synaptic function, then therapy won't work as a treatment, except as a placebo. According to this narrative, giving a depressed person CBT is like a nurse providing reassurance to a patient with a broken leg; worthwhile, but unimportant compared to the crucial task of setting the bone, which only biochemical intervention can do. Advocates of this point of view typically cite the impressive performance of pharmaceutical regimens in dealing with certain mental illnesses, the poor performance of various talking therapies compared to "placebo therapy"+, and the historical lack of interest of talking therapies in empirical validation.

Now I call these "narratives" because they are deliberate oversimplifications; riparianx is right that it may well be that some mental illnesses are "mind" and some are "brain," and some a bit of both. Nevertheless they express very real ways of thinking about the problem. In 1940 the medical consensus was that the first narrative was broadly true. By 1990, the medical consensus was closer to the second.

• i.e. allowing the patient to discuss their problems with an untrained, sympathetic listener.

In a conservative society/culture why do people live on their own? Why not in their extended family?

To be fair, being in love with living in nuclear families is a standard feature of Anglo cultures, some even proposed they actually caused them becoming richer than others. There are 13th century records of English villagers moving to other villages to work and then buying land and settling down and hardly ever seeing their relatives again in the old village. I find this mind-boggling.

Still, even in an individualist Anglo culture, I would expect its more conservative subsets would be in favor of blood relatives living under one roof. Which is an excellent idea for people poor and ill.

For example, in Eastern Europe (both poor and conservative) the idea of every adult child gluing another wing to the parents house, big enough to marry and have a child or two, is very popular. It is cheap, no mortgage, just buy materials and DIY with friends. And the generic conservatism of the region supports this, because it puts family and relations and community before the individual.

Agreed. Personal anecdote: once I redefined my "motivation problem" as a "depression and anxiety problem" a number of months ago, and began treating this depression and anxiety instead of wearily trying out yet another willpower hack, I have made more progress in being motivated in months than I had in the previous years.