Standard reference: Nanosystems. In quite amazing detail, though the first couple of chapters online don't begin to convey it.
but seeing all the physics swept under the rug
There's lots and lots of physics. All of this discussion has already been done.
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Perhaps a good place to start would be the literature on life satisfaction and happiness. Statistically speaking, what changes in life that can be made voluntarily lead to the greatest increase in life satisfaction at the least cost in effort/money/trouble?