Does it increase readership?
I don't know, but I'd expect it to; I could possibly elaborate. I'd also expect it to increase reader enjoyment and leave a stronger impression afterward.
Is it some sort of SEO trick? Because it doesn't sound like a better name otherwise.
Fic titles that word-substitute the original title signal either parody or amateurism to me. I notice Iceman isn't prefacing it with "My Little Pony :", though, so that's something (and possibly a leg up on my suggestion).
"Friendship is Optimal" makes the Less Wronger ...
Likewise, I'd like to see a less mundane first line; something that puts some superstimulus up front before the necessary mundane parts, like MoR does. Something like:
"The girl who would (some spoiler here) sat down..."
Or:
"(length of time) before the death of the last living human, Rebecca sat down..."
And instead of sitting down, something that jumps right into conflict or strong emotion. Profanity seems a good cheat for that. Like "...Rebecca was glaring at her screen. 'Are you fucking kidding me?'", or "...Rebecca was enjoying the worst fucking raffle prize in history."
I could be full of crap, so I'm hoping for feedback on my feedback.
First: For the formal release, I hope you're planning to follow the show and HPMoR in serializing it and posting just one chapter a week at an identical time. You could lock the Google Docs copy.
Posting some early and/or superficial thoughts. TW for sarcasm and ableism.
Is the title negotiable? I like the ring of "AI Ponies: Magic is Optimization".
The summary seems important, since you have to stand out in an ocean of bad fics (even featured ones) and pull a prospective reader from zero to nonzero involvement.
Hanna, the CEO
Doesn't a CEO merit ...
...Okay, I was wrong about coming back soon. I'm way behind on some work, and by letting myself feel obligated to give good critique I've turned reading the fic into work. Sorry.
I have stuff to do right now, but I'm hoping to come back soon and post my thoughts so far. The blurb and the first few paragraphs make me cringe at the thought of this being posted more widely in its present state.
Not anymore.