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All of JimL's Comments + Replies

JimL00

I think your implication of highly specific partner preference gives the impression that I am wrong on this last point. It implies such behavior is whimsical and easy to change, if only the person were to wish it.

I was in no way trying to minimize your post. Actually, my attempt was to suggest the opposite; it is absolutely difficult to change behavior. Habit tied with emotionality is fantastically sturdy and able to withstand all manner of influence.

My beleaguered point was that I find neurosis interpreted as life stories buttressed by habits and emotion... (read more)

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3eugman
Ah, so let me apologize. I think there was some confusion. Also you hit a bit of a landmine for me. There's been one person I've met who was so invalidating regarding mental illness. Sarah's sister actually. She basically told us that unless Sarah had something written from a doctor, she didn't have bpd ("I think you have anger problems"). She also discredited my depression ("Look, I've gotten really sad before too"). So whenever it sounds like someone is suggesting mental illness isn't real I get quite defensive. Secondly, I agree that sitting on a couch and talking about how daddy never hugged you is useless. On the other hand, it's important to at least acknowledge that our childhoods shape a lot of our personality and action-emotion dynamic. I thought you were doing the opposite, trying to suggest the only major influence was personal choice.
2dbaupp
You can quote someone by putting a '>' at the start of the line. (LW uses markdown syntax for comments, not HTML; also, there is a little "help" link that expands a box with more details about the syntax at the bottom right of the comment box)
JimL00

I have citations on my other computer. which is not here. When I get a chance I'll put them on here. However the general dissatisfaction with psychotherapy is pervasive.

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2Paul Crowley
Would be good to get these citations if you get a chance - thanks!
JimL-10

One is internally focused and tends to concern itself with resolving past causes while the other is primarily concerned with behavior and developing helpful habits and thought patterns in response to external stimulation, realizing that emotion and action are inter-causal and self-reinforcing.

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Which fields of learning have clarified your thinking? How and why?
JimL50

Game theory and...

Keep a journal. All your life. It is easy to harbor irrational thoughts and emotions in life. It is much more difficult when you must write them down. The exercise has multiple benefits. One learns to summarize, it clarifies thoughts and emotions, and provides cathartic relief. A healthy mind is one that can write; irrationality is a hundred times more difficult in print. Pity that today's journalists are in general such bad examples.

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1amcknight
Do you have any suggestions about how to do this? How much to write, what kinds of things to write about, or anything like that? My guess is it's probably best to just try it and figure out what you like and what works, but maybe a bit of direction can help too.
JimL20

Please allow me to offer a different perspective.

I remain extremely skeptical of psychological diagnosis. Studies continue to show that a year of psychoanalysis with a trained analyst remains less effective than reading a book on cognitive psychology focused on measured self-improvement. Similarly, psychologists are statistically unable to distinguish between 'normal' and neurotic patients. Tests on 'subjects' are prone to confirmation bias and inter-causality issues.

Humans are deeply social animals, and arguably our intelligence has evolved at least partl... (read more)

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7eugman
I should point out that this was a self-diagnosis, not a professional one. On the other hand, to be considered borderline for the DSM IV-TR, you have to meet 5 out of 9 criteria. She met all of them. Now, I don't know if I believe that she had a "malady" as you describe it. However, here is what I do believe. I believe that there are a constellation of correlated, stable, and self-sustaining personality attributes reasonably referred to as BPD. I believe that they are multi-causal and cannot be reduced to a few simple things, like control issues. I believe that this constellation occurs regularly and consistently enough that information from once occurrence is going to be quite applicable to another occurrence. I think that those traits are extremely difficult to change, or at the very least make it very difficult/unlikely for the person to sustain the willingness to change that is necessary. I think your implication of highly specific partner preference gives the impression that I am wrong on this last point. It implies such behavior is whimsical and easy to change, if only the person were to wish it.
8Paul Crowley
[citation needed] Also, see Diseased thinking: dissolving questions about disease.
TheOtherDave100

Two things.

First, I'm sorry that you went through this and are going through it.

Second, I'm interested in what you believe follows from the distinction between considering the cluster of traits you identify here an illness, malady, or personality disorder (which you do not do), and considering it a cluster of traits with certain causes and consequences (which you do).

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