I think of it as a jigsaw puzzle for every person. There are a lot of pieces for every puzzle but I'm sure each piece is working against you. The other aspect is that some pieces are far larger for some and much smaller for others. e.g. you're 4'10" as a man who dates women, your height is probably the single biggest piece working against you.
More generalized pieces: - You have no third spaces to meet people and form longer bonds. The shift in the way people meet has all been on very superficial places now. (dating apps, bars) - Increased emphasis on lookism... (read more)
What dance styles is that? Seems like an important piece of information
2lc
The problem of courting seems very similar to the problem of fixing obesity to me. There's not one problem. There's a general rise in sexlessness over time; everyone agrees that the app era seems to have broken lots of courtship rituals and instincts for men, like something in our diets has caused a recent spike in obesity. Sometimes someone's mistakes in this era are simple to fix and you can just tell someone to eat less/"be confident" and they'll do it. Then there are a wide variety of people for whom that doesn't work, and they need to try a bunch of different specific advice until they figure out what works for them personally; maybe the keto diet works, maybe they need to cut out polyunsaturated fats, etc. etc. Then there are some people who need entire combinations of things and no one intervention is sufficient. Sometimes an environmental or life change in someone who was previously sexually successful causes them to be completely thrown off like those baby turtles that now confuse city lights for moonlight.
Sometimes solving these issues takes years.
I think of it as a jigsaw puzzle for every person. There are a lot of pieces for every puzzle but I'm sure each piece is working against you. The other aspect is that some pieces are far larger for some and much smaller for others. e.g. you're 4'10" as a man who dates women, your height is probably the single biggest piece working against you.
More generalized pieces:
- You have no third spaces to meet people and form longer bonds. The shift in the way people meet has all been on very superficial places now. (dating apps, bars)
- Increased emphasis on lookism... (read more)