All of Solnassant's Comments + Replies

A mental postures I have when doing good rationality is - Love to be wrong / Want to change my idea

This argument has been very very helpful in my thinking those last few weeks and I want to thank you for it. I'm walking an increasingly spiritual path in my life, but this article lays a solid foundation for my thinking: yes, emotions can be amazing and they pretty much run the show; yes, you can only access those deep transcendental feeling by being in this 'mythic' mode where you see crazy coincidences; but no, they don't have to be truths about the nature of the world, and it is important to be able to navigate both to lead a fully satisfying life.

I can now see why this comment is problematic; hidden judgements, not just facts and reasons. I’m maintaining it because I lost karma for it and don’t want to de-incriminate myself. I’m planning this comment will make me look good but not expecting karma back although I obviously want it.

Making my upvote known. I wish you well and hope you’ll be able to figure out what’s real and what’s self deception when it comes to chemistry, as often it’s superficial things like “he/she resists me”, which disappear sooner or later, that drive your impression.

Agreed about the hyperbole although don't have mental energy left for reasons xyz. The question about LDRs isn't whether they exist, which they obviously do, but about whether they're not easily replaceable for a much higher reward situation, ie love in the same location.

Don't mean to sound harsh and this will certainly sound unfeasible if you're deep in love or lacking the resources to spark new ones, but a person, man or woman, can get much, much better than a LDR, and I make myself sorry to read about one.

If I was in you place and valued my time at all, and the expected benefit of my time alive, I'd drop the relationship and get a new one.

The One is a myth. In need of love we'll accept a lot of things we think we now think we can't, and get over them or even come to love them and think our old ... (read more)

4Solnassant
I can now see why this comment is problematic; hidden judgements, not just facts and reasons. I’m maintaining it because I lost karma for it and don’t want to de-incriminate myself. I’m planning this comment will make me look good but not expecting karma back although I obviously want it.
The One is a myth.

Yes, 100%. But really good chemistry comes in grades, in this case I feel really really good chemistry. There are probably partners "above the acceptable threshold" nearby, and if I date date long enough I might feel the same about someone else, but in this case LDR is a temporary inconvenience, I just want to make it work in LDR format until I feel good/convinced enough to turn it into N(ear)DR, which is well in my power to do.

2Dr_Manhattan
It's an LDR that I intend to turn into NDR. LDR temporarily. Hope that helps.
6Dagon
Everyone is different, and I'd avoid hyperbole like "if I valued my time at all". I know of a number of 15-year or longer marriages that included long distances for part of the courtship, and sometimes parts of the marriage. On the topic of this post (existence proofs for unconventional courtship success), I got 'em for LDRs. But you should acknowledge that it's a burden, and both you and your partner will have to work harder to develop and maintain bonds when you're not near each other most of the time. And you should have a pretty good hope that the distance is temporary - I don't know of any successful cases where the couple permanently lives apart.

Actually most are merino wool, one is half cotton half linen, one is made with heavier cotton and treated with indigo to give a blue jeans color and effect.

Longer fibers are more resistant; and thinner fiber are softer against the skin. Linen is rough but has some very interesting properties like thermoregulation.

This is anecdotal but two brands I own and like are Atelier Particulier and Anderson’s. Check out the website Norsestore.com also 😊

You’re right about the images. I want to add some. It was making me procrastinate so I decided to just post it without them. I don’t think however that you need me to know what light or dark is. For something like a chino though you’re right. For those who don’t know; they’re the simple cotton-made trousers that aren’t jeans (can’t think of a better pointer).

As for the r/malefashionadvice, never read in my life, so you’re somewhat mind-fallacy-ing me here. The French blog bonnegueule.fr is my main reference. As well as their YouTube channel which has some translated videos. I’ll link the YouTube and r/malefashionadvice at the end of the article.

Sorry not much time to answer all the comments, but basically (for the brands that I’ve listed and others for which more pricey = investment in quality); at each step of the production process, the quality will fluctuate depending on how much you’re willing to pay. First the fabric, eg the length of the cotton fibers, the thinness of the merino wool or cashmere, the resistance or unmarkedness of leather... Then the treatment of the fabric and the coloring (many other steps in between probably), then the cut, how much material is used, the denser the more p

... (read more)
3ChristianKl
I do understand the value proposition of merino wool and cashmere but bonnegueule shirts seem to be out of cotton. I don't understand why I should pay for a different length of cotton fibers. Why are different cotton fibers better? Do I want long or short ones?

Thanks a lot! Very happy I could bring in some value 🥳

This is awesome. If you're in London I'd love to meet & talk, all those levels-of-consciousness type things really interest me. Send a message if you're interested!

3Elo
Sydney not London but pm and we can chat via [current hip method]

I love korin43's answers more than my article 😂

1Brendan Long
Haha writing my comments was way easier since you already covered the hard parts in the article so I can just make short comments about the few places where I disagree.

I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!

Because I'm passionate about clothing and fabrics, I only referenced brands that are both high quality, and good value for money. If you went from eating at McDonald's to nicer restaurants, it would be a mistake to focus solely on the price increase; you would get better quality ingredients, service... less cancer...

Uniqlo is the best you can find at a low price range.The downsides are that fabrics are lower quality, will die earlier, won't feel as good; and that the employees' work conditions are Bangladeshi. Quality comes at a price. ... (read more)

5Said Achmiz
If you went from eating at McDonald’s to eating at restaurants that are five to ten times more expensive than McDonald’s, then I would conclude that the price increase (or, rather, the resulting signaling effect) is, in fact, the primary or even the entire reason for the change. (When it comes to food quality, if you went from eating at McDonald’s to eating at, say, this place, you would get at least 75% of the maximum possible benefit that you could possibly get from upgrading your restaurant preferences. Note the menu; those are main courses, and they are at most 150% as expensive as McDonald’s—not 500–1000%!) You’re equivocating between effort and money, here. It would not surprise me that proficiency in a new field would require investing significant time and effort. If, however, it allegedly requires investing significant money, then I would either suspect that someone is trying to sell me something (or, more subtly, benefiting from the perpetuation of norms that require me to buy something)—or I would seriously reconsider my decision to acquire proficiency in said field.

The people you see queuing outside of the most exclusive clubs, or even better, that you see skipping the queue. Basically people who are famous/semi-famous, rich, or work in fashion, modeling, nightlife, art, film... For this little scene, following the newest trends is more important than dressing the way this article recommends. It’ll be more oriented towards wearing designer clothes, basically more about wealth & trend-awareness signaling.

Plain black or navy leather, silver buckle 👌🏻

2ChristianKl
What brands? Is there a difference between more expensive items and less expensive items that makes it worth paying for more expensive ones? What benefit do I get when I don't buy the Uniqlo one for 30€ but pay more?

Especially now that the world is so globalised, yes, I think the advice is applicable worldwide, despite perhaps a few differences here and there depending on the country.

The advantage of the rules is that they are less attached to the waves of fashion than purely trendy people are. In 10 years, if you've applied the rules, you should look at pictures of yourself now and think 'that was good!'. Masculine fashion moves slower than feminine fashion. When on top of that you add that the rules change even less; yes, the advice holds through tim... (read more)

I think you're absolutely right, and I might have abused the word 'cool' (my clickbaity self lol). The rules are more conservative than they are cool.

Two things though. First, if you follow the rules, you will be cooler than nearly all around you, unless you're in a high-end venue, in which case you'll just look good. Second, because being cool (in the high-end-venues-clientele sense) requires strongly integrated norms/a lot of experience and changes with trends heavily, it is much harder to teach, and the quickest way to reach that point where you know breaking a rule will make you look better is to start with the rules.

2ChristianKl
Can you taboo high-end-venues-clientele?

I absolutely am just some guy on the internet! No credentials, I don’t work in fashion, I’ve only paid close attention to how to dress as a man for years. Also, this article has been asked for at meetups by people who saw me.

...guess you’re going to have to try the rules and see if your style gets worse hehehe

2Said Achmiz
Well, I checked out the websites of several of the brands you listed. What became quite obvious very quickly is that, to a first approximation, your advice boils down to: “Spend more money on clothes. Like… a lot more money. An entire order of magnitude more money than you spend now. Devote significantly more of your budget to clothes than you do to food, utility bills, or any other expense except rent.” So, that does present rather an obstacle to just trying entirely unverified advice…
3ChristianKl
You do you measure whether or not your style gets worse?

Gotcha. Thanks for the heads up!