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ciphergoth comments on A Suite of Pragmatic Considerations in Favor of Niceness - Less Wrong
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In my experience, people who are particularly nice in debates and discussions (as opposed to mere conversations) are usually those whose opinions are either the bland dogmas that everyone accepts without thinking, or the ridiculous nonsense that only crackpots believe. In both cases, niceness is used as a defense against criticism: No one wants to be the strident jerk who has to tell the nice person how wrong he is.
Have a look at the way one of the world's top cryptographers, David Wagner, talks to the crazies on sci.crypt. It makes me tear my hair out sometimes - these people are rude and dismissive towards him, seeming to have no idea how fortunate they are that someone of his caliber has deigned to pay their ideas any attention at all, let alone the patient and helpful explanations of why they may not advance the art as much as they hope.
(at least, that was my experience many years ago - I haven't read it for a long time)