Blueberry comments on Unknown knowns: Why did you choose to be monogamous? - Less Wrong

48 Post author: WrongBot 26 June 2010 02:50AM

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Comment author: Blueberry 26 June 2010 06:43:52PM 12 points [-]

If you're always wondering if you could do better, you'll put yourself on a hedonic treadmill that will never make you happy. Sometimes you have to say "this is the person, or these are the people, I love; I'm no longer looking for more".

I'm not understanding this. Suppose that you have numerous friends that you care about: would you have to say "these are my friends; I'm not looking for more"? Would you then not be open to making more friends or meeting more people?

While I can understand the problem of never thinking what you have is good enough, I don't see how being committed to improving your relationships and continuing to find more compatible partners causes this problem.

Comment author: ciphergoth 27 June 2010 08:23:47AM 5 points [-]

By and large you don't buy houses with your friends. The sort of commitment you make to a life partner of many years is one you can only make to a few people at most.

Comment author: AdeleneDawner 27 June 2010 07:06:00PM 17 points [-]

By and large you don't buy houses with your friends.

In the spirit of the original post: Why not?

Comment author: Blueberry 27 June 2010 10:31:28AM 4 points [-]

I see. You have a few slots available and you'd like to fill them with lengthy stable commitments, so preserving stability requires giving up changing the slots. (I was thinking more of short-term and more casual dating relationships, where I don't think this consideration applies.)

Comment author: thomblake 28 June 2010 05:52:54PM 4 points [-]

N.B. Some of us think only of long-term relationships, and never had a concept of "casual dating relationships" that aren't an effort to start a long-term commitment.

Comment author: Blueberry 28 June 2010 06:47:42PM 6 points [-]

In the spirit of the original post: why did you choose to only have long-term relationships?