Thanks for the examples.

Pointing out that she seems to just want to panic regardless of the event seems to calm her more than most of my other approaches.

Interesting. I think think that exact phrasing wouldn't work well with me because when I have bad emotional habits, it generally doesn't seem as though I want them. I'd do better with a more neutral phrasing like "it seems as though you panic no matter what happens".

All I can do is guess about the difference-- maybe your girlfriend experiences her internal state as wanting the emotions she's getting?