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Blueberry comments on Procedural Knowledge Gaps - Less Wrong
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I don't think this is accurate. People generally don't say "no" directly. It's not a matter of gender socialization, it's just how language works. A direct "no" is seen as rude, and refusals are usually couched in vague or tentative language.
But people seem to understand refusals anyway, which means the question is whether refusals are more vague and tentative in this case.
Valid point. Though I think people generally understand refusals even in this case.
is a little extreme. Though this could be an very ambiguously worded "polite" refusal, it can also be honesty from someone who actually is interested. Whereas "I'm sorry, I can't, I've been really busy with life" is a clear refusal, "I'd love to but..." isn't always and is worth at least a follow up.
Your experience may differ, but I disagree. Unless she suggests another time, this is meant as a polite brush-off. For most women, pursuing potential mates is a very, very high-priority activity, and no matter how busy their schedules may be, they can clear out an evening for a guy they're truly interested in.
In the few situations where the woman really is booked solid (such as the example where she's going out of town, or maybe if she's studying for a very important upcoming exam) she'll let you know when she expects to have some time free.
There is one alternative explanation - and that's a woman following "The Rules".
In that case, you may not want to go out with her anyway, given that it's a book explaining how to manipulate men (much as PUAs do to women).