Eliezer Yudkowsky Facts
- Eliezer Yudkowsky was once attacked by a Moebius strip. He beat it to death with the other side, non-violently.
- Inside Eliezer Yudkowsky's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but another brain.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky's favorite food is printouts of Rice's theorem.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky's favorite fighting technique is a roundhouse dustspeck to the face.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky once brought peace to the Middle East from inside a freight container, through a straw.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky once held up a sheet of paper and said, "A blank map does not correspond to a blank territory". It was thus that the universe was created.
- If you dial Chaitin's Omega, you get Eliezer Yudkowsky on the phone.
- Unless otherwise specified, Eliezer Yudkowsky knows everything that he isn't telling you.
- Somewhere deep in the microtubules inside an out-of-the-way neuron somewhere in the basal ganglia of Eliezer Yudkowsky's brain, there is a little XML tag that says awesome.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky is the Muhammad Ali of one-boxing.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky is a 1400 year old avatar of the Aztec god Aixitl.
- The game of "Go" was abbreviated from "Go Home, For You Cannot Defeat Eliezer Yudkowsky".
- When Eliezer Yudkowsky gets bored, he pinches his mouth shut at the 1/3 and 2/3 points and pretends to be a General Systems Vehicle holding a conversation among itselves. On several occasions he has managed to fool bystanders.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky has a swiss army knife that has folded into it a corkscrew, a pair of scissors, an instance of AIXI which Eliezer once beat at tic tac toe, an identical swiss army knife, and Douglas Hofstadter.
- If I am ignorant about a phenomenon, that is not a fact about the phenomenon; it just means I am not Eliezer Yudkowsky.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky has no need for induction or deduction. He has perfected the undiluted master art of duction.
- There was no ice age. Eliezer Yudkowsky just persuaded the planet to sign up for cryonics.
- There is no spacetime symmetry. Eliezer Yudkowsky just sometimes holds the territory upside down, and he doesn't care.
- Eliezer Yudkowsky has no need for doctors. He has implemented a Universal Curing Machine in a system made out of five marbles, three pieces of plastic, and some of MacGyver's fingernail clippings.
- Before Bruce Schneier goes to sleep, he scans his computer for uploaded copies of Eliezer Yudkowsky.
If you know more Eliezer Yudkowsky facts, post them in the comments.
Comments (59)
The Busy Beaver function was created to quantify Eliezer Yudkowsky 's IQ.
An Eliezer Yudkowsky article a day keeps irrationality away.
Reversed stupidity is not Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Eliezer Yudkowsky knows exactly how best to respond to this thread; he's just left it as homework for us.
Eliezer Yudkowski can solve NP complete problems in polynomial time.
...because he made a halting oracle his bitch. "Oh yeah baby, show me that busy beaver ... function value."
This isn't bad, but I think it can be better. Here's my try:
Eliezer two-boxes on Newcomb's problem, and both boxes contain money.
Snow is white if and only if that's what Eliezer Yudkowsky wants to believe.
Ironically, this is mathematically true. (Assuming Eliezer hasn't forsaken epistemic rationality, that is.) It's just that if Eliezer changes what he wants to believe, the color of snow won't change to reflect it.
Eliezer Yudkowsky made a mistake once - but only so he could calibrate his confidence level.
Ooh, this is fun.
Robert Aumann has proven that ideal Bayesians cannot disagree with Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Eliezer Yudkowsky can make AIs Friendly by glaring at them.
Angering Eliezer Yudkowsky is a global existential risk
Eliezer Yudkowsky thought he was wrong one time, but he was mistaken.
Eliezer Yudkowsky predicts Omega's actions with 100% accuracy
An AI programmed to maximize utility will tile the Universe with tiny copies of Eliezer Yudkowksy.
And the first action of any Friendly AI will be to create a nonprofit institute to develop a rigorous theory of Eliezer Yudkowsky. Unfortunately, it will turn out to be an intractable problem.
Transhuman AIs theorize that if they could create Eliezer Yudkowsky, it would lead to an "intelligence explosion".
Where's the punch line?
... because all of them are Eliezer Yudkowsky.
They call it "spontaneous symmetry breaking", because Eliezer Yudkowsky just felt like breaking something one day.
Particles in parallel universes interfere with each other all the time, but nobody interferes with Eliezer Yudkowsky.
An oracle for the Halting Problem is Eliezer Yudkowsky's cellphone number.
When tachyons get confused about their priors and posteriors, they ask Eliezer Yudkowsky for help.
Eliezer can in fact tile the Universe with himself, simply by slicing himself into finitely many pieces. The only reason the rest of us are here is quantum immortality.
Everything is reducible -- to Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Scientists only wear lab coats because Eliezer Yudkowsky has yet to be seen wearing a clown suit.
Algorithms want to know how Eliezer Yudkowsky feels from the inside.
Teachers try to guess Eliezer Yudkowsky's password.
Eliezer Yudkowsky's map is more accurate than the territory.
Eliezer Yudkowsky's map IS the territory.
One time Eliezer Yudkowsky got into a debate with the universe about whose map best corresponded to territory. He told the universe he'd meet it outside and they could settle the argument once and for all.
He's still waiting.
P-zombies gain qualia after being in the presence of Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Eliezer Yudkowsky can escape an AI box while wearing a straight jacket and submerged in a shark tank.
You do not really know anything about Eliezer Yudkowsky until you can build one from rubber bands and paperclips. Unfortunately, doing so would require that you first transform all matter in the Universe into paperclips and rubber bands, otherwise you will not have sufficient raw materials. Consequently, if you are ignorant about Eliezer Ydkowsky (which has just been shown), this is a statement about Eliezer Yudkowsky, not about your state of knowledge.
There is no "time", just events Eliezer Yudkowsky has felt like allowing.
If it's apparently THAT bad an idea (and/or execution), is it considered bad form to just delete the whole thing?
(edit: this post now obsolete; thanks, all)
Add me to the list of people who thought it was laugh-out-loud funny. I'm glad this sort of thing doesn't make up a large fraction of LW articles but please, no, don't delete it.
I laughed out loud, and I'd say keep it but don't promote it..
Leave it up! This is hilarious; thank you!
I agree as well.
ObEliezerFact: Eliezer Yudkowsky didn't run away from grade school... grade school ran away from Eliezer Yudkowsky.
No, I like this game! Nearly all the ones up to and including one-boxing are giggle-out-loud funny, and there are some gems after that too.
Existence came to be when Eliezer Yudkowsky got tired of contemplating nothingness.