jimmy comments on Overcoming suffering: Emotional acceptance - Less Wrong

38 Post author: Kaj_Sotala 29 May 2011 10:57AM

You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.

Comments (44)

You are viewing a single comment's thread. Show more comments above.

Comment author: jimmy 30 May 2011 05:48:12PM 0 points [-]

Are you willing to share some of the details or at least methods? That sounds like an interesting story.

Comment author: MixedNuts 31 May 2011 07:43:48AM 6 points [-]

What do you want to know? The methods are probably partially reproducible (though I'd expect high variance), but you seriously don't want to.

I was under pretty heavy stress during my whole childhood and early adolescence, and gradually lost things as a result (self-control in many areas, some intelligence, some memory). I was also a neat freak and hated e.g. showering in a dirty bathtub (plus some mild sensory issues), but normal habituation tempered that. In mid-adolescence I found a way out, but it blew up on me and I went depressed/emotionally numb for a few years.

At one point I started being completely unaffected by disgusting things I had to do, even though I consciously knew I'd normally be. At one point I was perplexed and went digging for something in a trash bag mostly as a test. Moral disgust was also decreased, but didn't completely disappear.

One or two years later, I also lost sorrow. When bad things happened, I felt indignation and anger and guilt and compassion and self-pity if applicable and all the rest of my usual reaction, but with a big gaping hole in the middle saying "Sorrow goes here". It was confusing.

A few months after that, I moved, changed schools, and started work on a big plans, with the expectation I would get better and regain some of the lost functions. Sorrow came back in a few weeks - I was mulling over an unrequited crush, noticed I was sad, and was happy about being sad for the day. Disgust came back sometime later, slightly more gradually.

Now I have about normal (though wildly varying depending on body awareness) levels of disgust. My reaction to bad things has changed (roughly, I want to fight, not mourn) so it doesn't include sorrow, but it doesn't feel like "Error: emotions/sorrow not found" either. I think I could train to feel sad about bad events, but it doesn't seem productive (I'm prone to self-pity). Sorrow is a pleasant emotion, a kind of luxury, to revel in over a crush or after a play with failed heroic sacrifices - not appropriate for 150000 deaths. Obviously this comes from my glee over getting sorrow back.

Comment author: jimmy 31 May 2011 06:11:31PM 0 points [-]

Interesting.. Thanks for the reply.

I think I'll pass on replicating it :p