Sometimes it feels worth it!

Note that what you have created for all this effort (obsessive record hunting, studying twentieth century music, etc) is a subjective experience. This exists only inside your own head. Perhaps you can communicate it back out again - justify the effort by perpetuating the meme - perhaps you can only tell others that it's possible.

As I noted, at times it feels like being really fussy over the variety of heroin you're going to ruin your life with.