Marginalizing or diminishing people due to the socially enforced classes they belong to is not at all the same thing as "showing subtle signs of thinking thoughts you disagree with".

When someone uses "gay" as a curse word, he is not "marginalizing blah blah blah". He is inadvertently revealing that he thinks homosexuality is a bad thing - or inadvertently revealing that he thinks the frequent change of euphemism is an indication that most people think it is a bad thing. You are punishing him for his beliefs, not for his actions. He is not intentionally attacking anyone.