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Zvi comments on Extenuating Circumstances - Less Wrong
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We choose our standards because we want to win and they help us do that. Judging others by those standards doesn't work the same way unless by doing so you can get them to hold themselves to those same standards. Otherwise your standards are serving an altogether different purpose than the ones you impose on yourself, so it makes sense that they are radically different.
I don't believe (at least not in the generality you seem to be implying) that "we choose our standards because we want to win and they help us do that". We often arrive at our standards by means that I at least wouldn't call choice; those standards themselves determine what we count as winning; many people have found that their standards often get in the way of winning. (See, e.g., http://dreamsongs.net/Files/PoemADay.pdf .)