You had best phrase your offer in a way that will appeal to whoever is trying to maximize average hedons. This, of course, means showing why they can put hedons into you more efficiently than they can anyone else. The maximisation process will involve killing nearly your entire species, leaving you alone. This being the case the selected candidate will be one who takes sadistic delight in the death of others, currently has no meaningful bonds with his or her fellow humans and above all has absolutely no standards regarding what will give them hedonistic pleasure.