Thank you. You're right, I do not see atheism as the clear right answer. I look forward to understanding this point of view. I would rather have left this undefined for the sake of my rhetorical position, but I am probably not really a theist: I feel neutral about the existence of God.

Don't ask what you're permitted to believe or what you're forced to believe.

That's exactly what interests me! But as a precise answer seems out of reach, I will try and be more oblique in my evidence-gathering.