I'll add to this that actually paying attention to wedrifid is instructive here.

My own interpretation of wedrifid's behavior is that mostly s/he ignores all of these ad-hoc rules in favor of:
1) paying attention to the status implications of what's going on,
2) correctly recognizing that attempts to lower someone's status are attacks
3) honoring the obligations of implicit social alliances when an ally is attacked

I endorse this and have been trying to get better about #3 myself.