It sounds bad for a rationalist to admit "I value all human life equally, except I value myself and my children somewhat more."
Only because that's logically contradictory. If you drop the equally part it sounds fine to me: "I value all human life, but I value some human lives more than others.".
Utilitarianism is clearly not a good descriptive ethical theory (it does a poor job of describing or predicting how people actually behave) and I see no good reason to believe it is a good normative theory (a prescription for how people should behave).
I see no good reason to believe it is a good normative theory
How are you going to evaluate a normative theory, except by comparison to another normative theory, or by gut feeling?
My girlfriend/SO's grandfather died last night, running on a treadmill when his heart gave out.
He wasn't signed up for cryonics, of course. She tried to convince him, and I tried myself a little the one time I met her grandparents.
"This didn't have to happen. Fucking religion."
That's what my girlfriend said.
I asked her if I could share that with you, and she said yes.
Just so that we're clear that all the wonderful emotional benefits of self-delusion come with a price, and the price isn't just to you.