GabrielDuquette comments on Useful maxims - Less Wrong
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This is the one I most wish I could impress on my younger self. So many years wasted defaulting to "I can't concentrate continuously on [slightly hard thing]; I guess that means I'm not authentically interested."
For relationships. If I notice myself rationalizing insufficient attraction or general lack of spark ("rounding" up), I stop and pay attention to why that might be.
This is the only de-assholing strategy that has actually worked for me. Most of the time it means doing nothing when I could do something nice, but sometimes it means being actively unkind. The negative experiences accumulate and the assholish behaviors decrease.