jimrandomh comments on Consider Representative Data Sets - Less Wrong
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Comments (15)
I think it's a stylistic issue: there are too many function words. After finishing a draft, do a second pass deleting as many unnecessary words as possible. If changing the tense or person lets you eliminate a few pronouns, do so. I applied my personal editing procedure to your second paragraph, and went from this:
To this:
I didn't change anything in the actual content, but to my mind this reads much better.
This comment made me wish I'd asked this question on every article I've written. I shall do next time!
Thanks, I'll reedit the article in place, following this and other suggestions, and post a comment announcing the second revision.