I would be interested in reading this, but if it's painful for you to share your thoughts, I would recommend writing primarily for your future self's benefit, with the possibility of publishing later if your feelings change.

I have found writing to be an amazingly effective way of rapidly reshaping my mind. I am not sure why that is (I can speculate, but I have no particular reason to think that my speculations reflect reality). Still, I have genuinely changed my mind on a couple of fairly important things, and my mind has stayed changed.