The last time this book was discussed on LessWrong there seemed to be a large mindkilling effect, and the same thing appears to be happening now.

I suggest that the reason for this emotional reaction is that there are at least two different ways of pattern-matching the result that "parents don't affect life outcomes," one of which is obviously true and one of which is obviously false, in other words it is a deepity.

Of course parents can't change their child's IQ or height.

On the other hand, of course parents can change the experiences their child absorbs, which make up the substance of life and provide the basis for learning new things, understanding the world, and finding a place within it.

In one reading, things like the color of the baby's room are irrelevant minutiae.

In a different reading, the color of the baby's room is part of the fabric of her life and will be involved in her first memories. To call this minutiae feels reductive.

The useful takeaway message is that we shouldn't feel anxiety about the types of things that modern advertising is trying to convince us are important, but I would suggest that we shouldn't be feeling anxiety about our babies anyway and anxiety should be addressed as its own separate issue.