Vika comments on Ritual Report 2012: Life, Death, Light, Darkness, and Love. - Less Wrong
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My comment was more an invitation for Kaj to steelman his own point than an objection, but I see what you're getting at.
Key differences:
There's some more I feel I can say on this but I can't yet articulate it appropriately. It has to do with seriousness and how much I value banter and puncturing self-importance.
Regarding the point about "us vs them", I agree that some traditional rituals have this issue, but I can't think of anyone who would fill the role of "them" in the case of the Solstice celebration. The event was mostly about humanity as a whole prevailing over darkness / death / ignorance / etc. This seems much less problematic than ritualistic bonding over being different from some particular group of people.