Dias comments on Bayesian Adjustment Does Not Defeat Existential Risk Charity - Less Wrong
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No you can't. Consider three worlds, only differing with regards person A.
Which world is best? As we agree that people who exist should have a good life, U(1) > U(2). Assume U(2)=U(3), as per your suggest that we're unconcerned about people's existence/non-existence. Therefore, by transitivity of preference, U(1) > U(3). So we do care about A's existence or non-existence.
But U(3) = U(2) doesn't reflect what I was suggesting. There's nothing wrong with assuming U(3) ≥ U(1). You can care about A even though you think that it would have been better if they hadn't been born. You're right, though, about the conclusion that it's difficult to be unconcerned with a person's existence. Cases of true indifference about a person's birth will be rare.
Personally, I can imagine a world with arbitrarily happy people and it doesn't feel better to me than a world where those people are never been born; and this doesn't feel inconsistent. And as long as the utility I can derive from people's happiness is bounded, it isn't.