I don't believe that being Christian and rationalist are necessarily exclusive, as one of my best friends is both, but I don't know how he does it.
I also do it. It's really quite simple; I consider it more likely, given the evidence presented to me through my life so far, that God exists than that He does not. That is to say, I make the attempt to discern the universe as it is, and that includes the probable existence of the Divine.
(Mind you, some varieties of protestant are ridiculous).
Now, as to your question:
It seems that the best option is to allow everybody to go on assuming I believe as they do, and even tell a few lies to preserve the illusion.
My advice is: don't do that. Be truthful with your family, and listen to them when they try to be truthful with you.
I wouldn't suggest making a big thing about it; but don't lie to preserve the illusion.
In support of this advised course of action, I present the following arguments:
"Love thy neighbour as thyself". Whether you believe in the existence of Jesus or not, this is still an excellent general principle. If you want to call yourself a rationalist, I would assume that you do not wish to lie to yourself; I therefore advise most strongly against lying to those near to you.
Don't merely consider what your friends and family would feel like if they were to believe what you say. Consider also how they would feel if the deception were to be uncovered; as it well might, as indeed might any deception. A certain amount of "distressed on your behalf" is a small price to pay for a distinct lack of "betrayed".
Finally, if you are still seriously considering lying to your friends and family, I would urge you to read this article first; it puts forward several good arguments in favour of a general strategy of complete (though not brutal) honesty.
I would assume that you do not wish to lie to yourself; I therefore advise most strongly against lying to those near to you.
That doesn't make any sense. He wants to lie to his family because of how his family would react to the truth. Lying to himself would not serve a similar purpose.
I would urge you to read this article first;
That article is about lying by claiming your ideas have too much support--claiming that your belief is less uncertain than it is, claiming the project will accomplish more or do better things than you really believe it will...
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A list of some posts that are pretty awesome
I recommend the major sequences to everybody, but I realize how daunting they look at first. So for purposes of immediate gratification, the following posts are particularly interesting/illuminating/provocative and don't require any previous reading:
More suggestions are welcome! Or just check out the top-rated posts from the history of Less Wrong. Most posts at +50 or more are well worth your time.
Welcome to Less Wrong, and we look forward to hearing from you throughout the site!
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