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westward comments on Ignorance in parenting - Less Wrong
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It's important to recognize that not all children respond to the same incentives.
I have a parentally anti-authortarian master game theorist for a six year old whose "natural consequences" are often disastrous. It takes a lot of finesse to manipulate him. A combination of honest, fun engagement and honest, threatened punishments. That's not a necessary or desirable response to other children though.
That sounds familiar. I have four of these but at least it is not that disastrous mostly. Threatened punishments don't really work. I can't use them. I'm not behind them and if I must it dosn't go well. My wife does sometimes and it works - but not for long. Finesse with incentives and patience work best. But these require resources that are not always avilable.