I would not know what to do with a Bitcoin if I were awarded one

Really? I suspect you know exactly what you would do - google. As lsparrish said, a bitcoin is worth a considerable amount in USD, and it's really not that difficult to find out how to exchange one for USD, not if you're relatively internet/Google-savvy.

(My apologies for responding to a post that was tapping out, but I suspect there is a considerable number of people like yourself who are overestimating exactly how difficult it is to use bitcoins)