You don't enjoy company of most members-of-your-preferred-sex, but are hopeful that there are people out there that you could spend your life with. The problem is that finding them is painful, because you have to spend time with people whose company you won't enjoy during the search.

You seem to be assuming a model where one can only meet a potential mate selected at random from the population, and one'd need to spend a lot of time with her before being allowed to rule her out.