Yes, your description seems plausible. I was responding specifically to the reason Chris was describing, but you are correct that your described reason also happens.

Still insulting, I guess, but not for the same reasons.

Yeah... most of that isn't insulting, but "In fact, I doubt you value the truth about the matter so highly that I'd be fulfilling your real (if not espoused) preferences by delivering a harsh truth." is, somewhat.

I think the 'hostile/abusive/violent' thing is a lot rarer than the above.

Well, maybe. Depends on which feminist websites you read, you might get different estimates. I have witnessed and heard about (from friends / acquaintances) of both sorts of situations, certainly.