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blacktrance comments on White Lies - Less Wrong
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I'm curious. Is telling the truth really a cognitive burden?
It seems more like the opposite to me. Telling the truth involves keeping track of what is going on in my head, but lying involves keeping track of what is going on in my head and keeping track of what appears to be going on in my head (and making sure they aren't identical).
Saying whatever is in my head is easier than making up lies is easier than picking the phrasing of the truth that doesn't offend or scare people.
Ah, okay. That sounds about right.
This has been my experience as well. Telling the truth requires just saying what's on your mind, sometimes adjusting to avoid making people mad or to be better understood. Lying requires a lot of effort and is stressful.
This is often true, but often the opposite is true. If telling the truth requires extensive evaluation of actual facts, but lying just requires figuring out is the best thing to say, then lying can be less stressful.
As used here, "lying" means "intentional deception", so if you say something, believing it to be true, but it's actually false, it's not lying. The contrast is not saying what's true vs saying what's false, but saying what you believe to be true vs saying what you believe to be false.
Depends on cognitive style.
Walking is not a cognitive burden. Walking on a tightrope is. Being able to say whatever I feel like saying without having to analyze it constantly for punishment is the equivalent of simple walking. I may tell the truth in 90-99 percent of the statements I make, but when I get put into a context of punishment, suddenly I have to worry about the consequences of making what would otherwise be a very small step away from the straight and narrow.
Well, I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope much less when I'm allowed to be honest about everything than when I feel like there are things I'd be supposed to lie about.
My confusion increases. If you say whatever you feel like, you sometimes lie?
yes of course. Someone asks how I'm doing. I'm having a terrible day but say fine because I don't want to talk about it. Is this example clear enough for you?
As noted elsewhere, that's not really a lie, because "How are you?" isn't actually a question, it's more of a greeting protocol.
That statement only makes the web of lies/things that technically don't count as lies I have to keep in my head to stay on Alicorn's good side even more complicated.
I'm not that complicated and I'd rather you didn't pin the entire intricacy of socialization on me personally. I'm okay with phatics like "fine", but if you're actually talking to me, specifically, I'll also take "enh" or other non-information as a sign not to pursue the conversation as long as I'm reasonably on the ball and you can also tell me "I'd rather not talk about that".
That's good to know but I wouldn't have guessed it from what you said in the post about slashing tires.
You're aware I did not invent the tire slashing metaphor, right? You seem to be reacting very strongly and specifically to it. I linked a source the first time I used it here.