Raoul589 comments on White Lies - Less Wrong

38 Post author: ChrisHallquist 08 February 2014 01:20AM

You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.

Comments (893)

You are viewing a single comment's thread. Show more comments above.

Comment author: Raoul589 25 October 2015 12:03:52PM 3 points [-]

"Taking care of you is my sacred duty. I care about you. It is important that you tell me if there is something wrong."

This is true literally and in spirit.

Comment author: [deleted] 25 October 2015 08:55:54PM 0 points [-]

To invoke a cheesy meme, I wish I could upvote twice, once for phrasing something that doesn't involve telling a white lie, and the second time for consciously reinforcing that patient care is a sacred duty.

Comment author: Jiro 26 October 2015 02:37:02PM *  1 point [-]

I would count it as a white lie. It's literally accurate, but it implies a number of things. Some of those things are correct (you consider it important to care for the patient and be informed of any problems), but some of those things are incorrect (you are not annoyed). It isn't disqualified as a lie just because you believe that your annoyance is not important.

Comment author: Raoul589 30 October 2015 04:20:31PM *  1 point [-]

I don't think that the nurse is implying that he is not annoyed. Both the patient and the nurse recognise that the 'crapping the bed' situation is an annoying one, and the nurse is not denying that. The nurse is simply making it clear that his annoyance is a secondary concern, and that instead the welfare of the patient is the primary concern. The nurse genuinely believes that his own annoyance is relatively less important, and he is conveying that literally to the patient. This is actually the true situation, so I am confused about how you think he is lying, even implicitly.

Comment author: Lumifer 30 October 2015 04:59:42PM 1 point [-]

I don't think that the nurse is implying that he is not annoyed.

If you go sufficiently upthread, you'll find that it started with a post by Swimmer963 who is a nurse and is relating her own experience. In particular, she says:

There are certain lies that I tell over and over again, where I'm 99% sure lying is the morally correct ... When it's 4 am and I desperately want to go on break and eat something, none of these things are true.

Comment author: Raoul589 30 October 2015 05:37:21PM *  0 points [-]

Sorry, I should clarify. I was saying that:

"Taking care of you is my sacred duty. I care about you. It is important that you tell me if there is something wrong."

Is precisely something that Swimmer963 could say even though she's annoyed. She doesn't have to deny that she's annoyed, or even imply it. In fact it's probably futile to try... of course she's annoyed, and the patient suspects that. That is exactly the motivation for her lie in the first place.

The statement above nevertheless conveys her overall commitment to the patient's wellbeing, and encourages the patient to understand that "Obviously, my nurse is annoyed about the crap in the bed, but there are more important factors at play here."

As an extra bonus, I don't think it's a lie, hence providing a response to Eliezer's implied challenge.

On the contrary, her claimed standard response:

"This doesn't bother me. I've got plenty of time. I just want you to be comfortable, that's my job."

Contains three lies, none of which will probably even be believed by the patient:

"This doesn't bother me." (Obvious lie.)

"I've got plenty of time." (Obvious lie.)

"I just want you to be comfortable." (True in spirit but obviously literally false - she also wants to eat or sleep or socialise or get out of this room that stinks of crap, etc.)

"That's my job." (The patient knows that, but it's cold comfort to them and saying it might suggest that's the only reason the nurse is helping them, which erodes patient-nurse rapport.)

My point is that Swimmer963's strategy probably doesn't really achieve her goals, lying or no lying, and in my original post I was suggesting a possible (honest) alternative.

Comment author: Lumifer 30 October 2015 07:16:08PM 0 points [-]

If a nurse started talking to me about her "sacred duty", I certainly would not believe her.

Comment author: Raoul589 02 November 2015 07:18:19AM 1 point [-]

What about if she just said: 'duty'?

Comment author: Lumifer 02 November 2015 03:35:35PM 0 points [-]

That's not quite sufficient as it's the word "sacred" which does the heavy lifting. Saying it's her duty isn't particularly meaningful for a nurse -- it's her job, that's what she is paid to do. She is not doing you a favour, cleaning up shit is right there in her job description.

Comment author: Raemon 31 October 2015 12:08:06AM 1 point [-]

Would you believe them more or less than if they said they're not annoyed that you shat the bed?

Comment author: Lumifer 01 November 2015 10:21:26PM 0 points [-]

That depends. Mostly on the non-verbal clues that accompany the statement, but also on what do I know about this particular nurse.