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blacktrance comments on Open Thread: March 4 - 10 - Less Wrong
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Love makes/recognizes another person's good part of your good, so, depending on the magnitude, it isn't self-sacrifice to give up some other parts of your good to increase that of your loved one's.
If love were as simple as this, that would be great.
As Ritalin said:
"Love" requires that you risk the "devastating pain", I think. You may hold back, or engage principles that mitigate the heartache you feel when a relationship ends—to an extent this is fine, as recklessness is not good—but the risk or devastating pain is inherent in "love", as I'd define it.
Of course, if you find a relationship where both parties are always happy and healthy and pinging each other's fuzzy/utilon meters, then good for you. Life, in my experience, is a bit more dynamic and challenging than that.
I like the idea of coming up with disciplines to protect those who you love from heartache whould things not work out, but love is risky. It just is.