Username comments on Open thread, Jan. 19 - Jan. 25, 2015 - Less Wrong
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I have (what I presume to be) massive social anxiety. I live near lots of communities of interest that probably contain lots of people I would like to meet and spend time with, but the psychological "activation energy" required to go to social events and not leave halfway though is huge, and so I usually end up just staying at home. I would prefer to be out meeting people and doing things, but when I actually try to do this, I get overcome by anxiety (or something resembling it), and I need to leave. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, what techniques helped you overcome it? "Just practice" doesn't seem to be working--when I am able to muster up the willpower to go to social events (even very structured ones, which are much easier to deal with), it takes more and more willpower to stay there as the event goes on, and this doesn't seem to be changing.
In my personal experience, what I thought was anxiety largely went away when I was treated for depression.
So I'm just gonna recommend what Scott has to say on that matter:
http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/06/16/things-that-sometimes-help-if-youre-depressed/
Thank you!
Based on the test Scott linked and my own subjective experience, it seems very unlikely that I am depressed. Which aspects of your treatment helped with what you thought was anxiety?
Well, I suspect the drugs (SSRIs) helped.
So did being reminded that I actually had a lot more control over my situation than I alieved I did, and doing something about it (namely, changing jobs).
Thing is, the problem I went in with was "I can't sleep, I'm nervous too damn much, and I'm doing terribly at work." Not "I can't get out of bed, nothing is fun, I'm thinking of killing myself, and heroin sounds like a smashingly great idea" — the sorts of things I associated with the label "depression".
And I certainly didn't go in with "Doctor, I need to be more comfortable in social situations from parties to random crowds than I ever have before in my life."
But that ended up happening anyway, which is pretty interesting.
Do you do any sports? Martial arts classes for example gives you an environment where you face your anxiety head on.
I can offer at least two point of view.
The first is that what I thought was massive social anxiety was actually just social inexperience, that is a large part of my anxiety derived from not knowing what was the accepted social protocol in a given situation. Usually sitting quietly and observing what others did helped.
The second is that you need to subdivide and identify which steps of social interactions you are able to do and which you aren't. For example, instead of just throwing yourself into a social gathering, you can (for example) get ready and go out from your house, but not get in front of the place. Or you can get in front of the place but not enter. Or you can enter but you have a sense of urgency that prompts you to leave immediately after, etc. Instead of "just practice" the whole interactions, identify the smallest next step that you can practice, and if you can't practice that step, subdivide into even smaller units (e.g. literally just doing the next step).
I recommend reading section 19 (on the management of social anxiety disorder) in the recent treatment guidelines from the British Association for Psychopharmacology (pp. 17–19). A sample:
From a patient perspective, the guidelines suggest that each of the following four approaches should be similarly effective for the treatment of social anxiety as long as the care provider is adequately trained and up-to-date with current best practice: