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adamzerner comments on Open Thread, May 25 - May 31, 2015 - Less Wrong
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Cool, thank you! I can really relate to what you describe, especially the "not knowing any sane people" part.
What are your thoughts on relationships in general? Let me explain - in brief, I agree with the idea that it's "a form of socially acceptable insanity" (sort of). To obsess and commit to one thing so much seems crazy to me. But not really; it makes people happy and you don't (always) have to sacrifice too much. So the cost-benefit does seem worth it.
Obsession is nature's way of making cooperation more resistant to random disruptive events.
I think an important skill in relationships is to be able to see a long-term perspective even when you are in a bad moment. Don't ruin a mostly great relationship, just because today is the exceptional day that sucks. It can be easy to start a downward spiral. Forgiving is a way to play "tit for tat" in a noisy environment. The simplest hack to make people forgive is to make them blind towards the mistakes. (Which again comes with its own problems, because evolution is so short-sighted. Some people are too blind; some people forgive too much.)
Costly signalling of cooperation is important in situations where there is so much at stake, such as raising children. I am rather conservative about relationships because... well, if I simplify it a lot, conservatism at its core is all about costly signalling.
Sorry, I'm rambling, because of lack of sleep. So I'll stop now.
That's very interesting, I never thought of it like that before.
No need to apologize - If you want to keep rambling, I'll be listening.