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bogus comments on Open thread, Sep. 14 - Sep. 20, 2015 - Less Wrong
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The data show otherwise. As it turns out, an overwhelming portion of rapes is due to a minority of repeat offenders who never get caught, due in no small part to prevailing social attitudes which all-too-readily construe rapes as nothing more than one-off "misunderstandings" which can be "forgiven". But again, that's just wrong. Rape is not something that just happens once - they do it again and again.
Would this be the same "data" that claims that 1 in 4 college women are "raped"?
Someone who thinks that a woman saying "Yes" to coffee means that she expresses consent to sex is likely going to repeat the error multiple times.
Believes such as: 'Her mouth that "no" but her eyes said "yes"' can also repeat to repeated offending without the rapist thinking he's a rapist.
Understanding how to determine consent is vital and not all problems are due to bad intent.
I note that people who misunderstand something once seem above-averagely likely to misunderstand similar things in future, especially (but not exclusively) if they don't receive correction.
Maybe you're right about the vast majority of cases. In the specific anecdote I mentioned, the victim told me that it was a misunderstanding - they were friends, she thought she was going home with him to sleep, he thought they were going to have sex, they were both very, very, drunk and he didn't understand that she wasn't consenting. She has forgiven it and they are still friends, although perhaps less close.
I'm not endorsing anyone's actions here. Perhaps this guy is a threat, and she should not have forgiven him. But I think my original point stands, which is that it is safer for people to get to know each other over drinks in public and only go home if they both sure whether or not they want sex.