I also wanted to demonstrate to her and to others as well that Less Wrong is a forum for interactions about these sorts of issues. I think it's a valuable signal of how we should act as a community.

The mistake there is that when you put on a show, people notice it, and question why you're putting on a show. You're always sending (at least) three signals: The first signal is the one you're attempting to send. The second signal is how you're sending it. The third signal is the context of your sending it. If you're only cognizant of the signal you're deliberately sending, you're almost certainly sending the wrong overall signal.

The "How" in this case is, roughly, putting on a show. You're telling people you're trying to manipulate them.

The context in this case is, roughly, an accusation. Combined with the manipulation, you're telling people you consider the accusation serious and potentially dangerous, and are manipulating them to not take it seriously.