The progression in Kegan's book is really about the fact that what you are subject to at one level becomes object at the next level. It does not require that Level X people fully understand people at 'lower' levels.

No, that is not what the progression is "really about". And yes, you have to be able to understand people at "lower levels" in order to be at a higher level. A Level 4 Person might not have a sense of intimacy or connection - but they have to be able to understand that other people have intimacy and connections.

I guess in one sense I have succeeded because your guess at my favored view is entirely wrong. I was trying not to make an argument about refugee policy but to illustrate various kinds of thinking.

So what is your favored view, and how does it meaningfully differ from the Postmodern view you espouse as the Level 5 solution?