There's a lot of data and research on what makes people successful at online dating, but I don't know anyone who actually tried to wholeheartedly apply this to themselves. I decided to be that person: I implemented lessons from data, economics, game theory and of course rationality in my profile and strategy and OkCupid. Shockingly, it worked! I got a lot of great dates, learned a ton and found the love of my life. I didn't expect dating to be my "rationalist win", but it happened.
Here's the first part of the story, I hope you'll find some useful tips and maybe a dollop of inspiration among all the silly jokes.
P.S.
Does anyone know who curates the "Latest on rationality blogs" toolbar? What are the requirements to be included?
I'd love to see the results of a large survey on how successfuly married people found their partner. Is the "love finds you" meme based in anything real? The most common anecdote that I've heard is of the form "I really wanted this person and I pursued them persistently until they settled for me".
The "love finds you" meme would match up to lots of things. It matches up to "I didn't use a dating service or website to find someone and found someone anyway" and "I didn't make any effort at all to date and eventually ran into someone". I think that an eligible, decent-looking young person will find someone eventually (especially as the dating pool decreases as they get older and remain in demand), but just because a strategy can barely scrape by doesn't mean you should ignore much better options that are available.
If you... (read more)