(1) Opening a conversation that way signals a focus on physicality instead of getting to know them as a person. It signals only wanting sex.
I'm using Mark Manson's methodology* and I'll just be lazy and quote him
At MarkManson.net, I encourage men to pursue women with honesty and authenticity because this screens for women who are honest, authentic and conscientious themselves, making for far better relationships.
In other words, telling a woman that she's pretty and I'd like to get to know her is both about honesty and self-expression AND the woman herself.
Something feels quite wrong about the second statement though. It's common knowledge that men want sex. Is there any harm in expressing yourself about it?
(2) If you wouldn't find a girl "kinda cute" you wouldn't ask her out. There no additional information communicated.
That's quite general (if girl X didn't Y then nothing) but I'll break it down as I see it.
First of all, it implies at least one side believes there might be compatibility (far fetched, because there's plenty of pretty women or I just have low standards) which is the first step toward anything. Surely nobody would do something they wouldn't like, so we now have a minimal start. And compatibility aside it also satisfies the man = assertive thing that seems to be recommended by seemingly all dating advice (for men).
Second of all is to filter (perhaps harshly) women who aren't comfortable with themselves. Now I think this will make people feel somewhat bad and disincluded but at some point in life you just have to take responsibility. This means putting some effort into yourself (and others in extent) and unless she's really pretty it's going to be difficult and annoying being reminded of how much of a pervert you or the book says you shouldn't or (INF x possibilities). It's understandable that not everyone will be comfortable with everything but it's a change for the better in yourself. (So there's no reason not to)
And third (coming from the second) is that it raises the question of WHEN should you express yourself? It gives the woman a (possibly unjust) ultimatum to decide about you. I personally don't like this but the alternative - the wait-then doesn't seem like a better idea.
(also upvoted, can't see why that's at -1)
Something feels quite wrong about the second statement though. It's common knowledge that men want sex. Is there any harm in expressing yourself about it?
The question isn't so much whether the man wants sex but whether he wants more than just sex. Whether he also wants an emotional relationship in addition to sex.
First of all, it implies at least one side believes there might be compatibility (far fetched, because there's plenty of pretty women or I just have low standards) which is the first step toward anything.
The basic act for asking a woman out...
There's a lot of data and research on what makes people successful at online dating, but I don't know anyone who actually tried to wholeheartedly apply this to themselves. I decided to be that person: I implemented lessons from data, economics, game theory and of course rationality in my profile and strategy and OkCupid. Shockingly, it worked! I got a lot of great dates, learned a ton and found the love of my life. I didn't expect dating to be my "rationalist win", but it happened.
Here's the first part of the story, I hope you'll find some useful tips and maybe a dollop of inspiration among all the silly jokes.
P.S.
Does anyone know who curates the "Latest on rationality blogs" toolbar? What are the requirements to be included?